Yknow, if i could go into the past, and tell severely depressed preteen me that she lived long enough to see this day, she'd probably think I was insane. Genuinely insane. Time goes by like a motherfucker. Throughout hospital visits, life threatening issues and parental neglect and abuse, I've reached the point i'm at now. A comfortable point, and i've worked on myself so much i'm no longer nowhere near as depressed, assholish, impulsive or suicidal as I once was...I can even kinda see myself as...Nice now.
There was a time in my life where I genuinely believed i wouldn't make it. For the majority of my kid and teen years, i was severely suicidal. Multiple attempts i only backed out at at the last second, constant drowning out my thoughts with weeks of Team Fortress, soda and anything that'd help me numb the thoughts in my head, I'm really at a point where I can genuinely enjoy my life. Holy fuck. Well, as the DIOYY song goes, it's all the same you're all the same.
Developmental Stuff, Devlogs and Shit
I don't tend to like doing these if I don't have anything to show yet, but now that i've gotten some important days of my life over yet, I can go back to Kansar Khaos. My original deadline was too early. It was an unfeasible deadline One thing you should know about my development cycles and the way I operate is that I do not operate in the traditional way other artists do. I can't do deadlines, nor real "teasers", I often try to keep my projects semi quiet and hidden before i unleash them. This allows me to avoid the pressure of teasing something that could possibly come out. I often also take breaks all the time from my art. If you're a fan of something I've done, I want to warn you ahead of time that I could take breaks from it for several years or just a week. It's always entirely on me, as it's my project, and I treat it that way...I'm not a professional. Nevertheless, a lot of really nice progress has been made. I've changed into a format of a "storyboard". I have a google drive filled with all my ideas, map layouts, characters etc. And i'm trying to get all of that done before gluing it into the game. Area 1 of Kansar Khaos is complete and so is the first small half of Area 2. The game is intended to have 2 more short areas, as well as spots you can stop at for character interaction (All made entirely optional if you want to just slice and dice...) Oh, and I designed a rather adorable girl...I don't want to spoil anything, but you'll be able to meet a cute brown-haired girl in the game named Jozlyn!!! It's a shame no one cares about her. Aside from that, I REALLY want to do more comics. I'm really really sorry to the people who like the Anti-Citizen comics, I really want to do them, but I keep getting preoccupied with other projects...It's not that I'm out of ideas though! I have them, I just need to draw them into a 4koma format. or whatever other format I choose. I have a ton of other ideas too. I'm trying to avoid talking about them TOO MUCH now, as I feel like I tease people with Untitled and A-C too much...but I hope that I can introduce them to you after I get the current things I want to do out of the way! Thanks for everything, all of you! There might only be like 6 people who actively read this website, but it is VERY NICE 6 people! Thank you thank you!